C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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