We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
