How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
