I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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