I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we're making bets on your personal life
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
