you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
