The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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