8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
