We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
