My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
