Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
