i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
