i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize