babies were throwing up all over the place
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The air was thick with penises
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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