the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
