I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
