Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
