He had one of those small greek statue penises
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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