I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
