I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
