Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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