The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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