Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
