I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
