Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
