I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At least life still wants to fuck me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
