What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
