just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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