hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
