How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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