hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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