they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
