does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
