You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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