Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
