I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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