My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
