We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
