so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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