I'm eating all of the evidence.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
