Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
50% drunk capacity currently
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
