I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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