He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she pinky promised me she was 18
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
