Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
FUCK WHALES
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