i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
