I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
