She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
