She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
