Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
