Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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